Life Assistant 001-Comic Book Shaming

(For entertainment purposes only)

The following story is based on real fake events. Please do not try at home.

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I arrived at the comic shop at 2pm on February the 9th after getting a call from the Owner 1 in regards to my client Veronica. I walked up to the counter, guessing that the man behind it was the owner.

“Hi, I’m Jonathon. I believe I spoke to you over the phone. I’m looking for Veronica.”

Owner 1 pointed towards Veronica. She was sitting at a table, across the store, where customers were playing bingo.

Owner 1 complained, “Yes, your friend over there, just ruined a great game of superhero bingo. I’m not sure if the seniors will come back. They don’t like the drama.”

“Sorry sir. What happened?” I asked.

“She came in about an hour ago. I asked her did she need any help.”

-40 Minutes Earlier-

Veronica and Owner 1 stood across from each other in a narrow aisle.

“Yes, do you have Ghostcatchers Extreme?” Veronica asked Owner 1.

“We sure do. Right over here miss,”Owner 1 answered.

Veronica followed behind Owner 1.

“Great! It’s my favorite series.” Veronica disclosed.

Owner 1 stopped abruptly at a full rack of comics.

“The current issue number six is right here. Here you go miss.” Owner 1 pulled out one book and handed it to Veronica. “We can let you know when number seven arrivals, if you like.”

“O’h. Thanks. Actually, I’m looking for number three.” Veronica informed him.

Veronica tried to hand the comic back to Owner 1.

Owner 1 was hesitant to take it back, but did. Owner 1 placed the comic back on the shelf. “Issue number three? O’h. You buying for a kid. Kids are such newbs, right? Someone is always way behind these days.”

“Yes. Kids are newbs,” Veronica agreed. “But it’s for me. I’ve read issues one and two, so now I need number three.”

“O’h. I assumed that you would be ready for issue six, since you said it was your favorite series.”

“Could I just get number three? I’m kind of in a rush.”

“On your way to work at that magazine?”

“Yes, I have to get to work,” Veronica lied.

Owner 1 glanced up at the clock. “You must be working weird hours, then. Have you ever thought of featuring a comic shop, like mine in your magazine?”

“No, I haven’t. Is there anything that sets your shop apart from the others?”

“No, not really, but we’re working on it.”

“O’h, okay.”

“Well, let me see if I even have an issue three left. I know we have a lot of sixes, since it’s the current issue.”

Owner 1 looked through the comics again.

“I’m sorry the oldest issue we have here is a number five. Like I said we are on number six now.

“Okay, are you going to order anymore number threes, anytime soon?”

“I could but it’s not worth it to order one old book. I’m sure the real fans are all caught up.”

Owner 2 shouted, “Yes, we do have a superhero bingo! Congrats to Martha.”

Owner 1 stated to Veronica, “Sorry. I have to go. Yay Martha, Martha!”

Owner 1 joined Owner 2 at the prize table.

I was shocked by this. “So you issue number shamed her? Where’s the compassion man?”

Owner 1 rationalized his behavior, “She can’t just go around pretending to be a fan of something. The fan boys will kill her on the message boards.”

“Right,” I replied sarcastically.

Owner 1 stated, “I didn’t think she would overreact this way. Please just take her out of here. She’s been crying all over the bingo cards.”

“Perhaps, you should treat your customers better. You ever heard of the Better Business Bureau or Yelp reviews?”

“Take her out of here or I will call the authorities.”

“No problem. Leaving right now. You are an intolerant bully. Be ready for a boycott or a protest march,” I exaggerated I hoped.

I dashed over to my client’s side. “Come on Veronica, let’s go. Don’t let this stress you.”

Veronica glanced up at me. Veronica’s eyes were filled with noticeable tears. “He doesn’t think that I’m a real fan. Me, can you believe it?”

“I can’t believe any of it, really.”

Martha pointed to Veronica’s bingo card. “Pardon me. I don’t mean to interrupt but she almost has a bingo.”

I quickly checked her board. “She sure does. What’s the prize here?”

“Get out! She didn’t pay to play,” yelled Owner 2.

I helped Veronica get up from her chair. “I’ve been too busy to keep up with it.”

“It’s okay.”

Martha gave Veronica a sweet smile. “You hang in there, peaches.”

Martha slyly placed Veronica’s bingo card in front of her.

This was way out of the norm for me. I was glad though that I was able to help Veronica get through the unfortunate episode. We were able to buy the comic book online to save her from any further humiliation. Remember to go through life at your own pace, it’s not a competition. There are highly critical mean-spirited people out here but don’t let them get you down. They have their own issues and ghosts to deal with. Be strong and be kind.





















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